Banana Bread anyone?!

Look what I found under the couch this morning.....

At least two days old!! Banana Bread anyone???????

And yes, Matthew DID it!

His other new trick is pulling all the staws off the juice boxes so that, when I need them for the boys' lunch, there are NO straws to be found- LOVELY!

Would you like some food with that?!?!

Well, we all know that Matthew loves butter, and there has been more than one occasion when I have found him with a tub of butter and a spoon or a knife stuck in it! So it certainly did not come as a surprise when I came downstairs this morning after changing Jacob's diaper to find this in the playroom...... Yep, Matthew decided to get his own breakfast this morning!

Opposites!

Sophie and Matthew were just having a "wrestling match" and Sophie said to Matthew:

Matthew, you're goin' doooowwwnnnn!

To which Matthew replied:

Sophie, you're goin' uuuuuuppppppp!!!

Broken heart

Matthew just came up to me and said this:

Mom, Joshua broke my heart!
(ME) He did?
Yeah- he broke my heart and he tore it apart!

Gee, do you think someone has older sisters that listen to the radio?! Actually, they're all downstairs playing rockband, but the boys are fighting, so Josh must have hit Matthew or something- who knows! It was pretty funny to hear him repeat the words from a song when he was talking about Josh hitting him ;-)

Terrorist Toddlers!

Ok, that may be a little politically incorrect, but as far as I'm concerned it's the truth!!! Yep, there are lunatic toddlers (Matthew and his little apprentice Jacob!) in my house, and they are out to get me. Their goal is to drive me right up the freakin' wall! And they know NO boundaries- NONE! This morning, for instance, I had lots of stuff going on. The speech therapist was coming over to the house to work with Jacob at 9:45, I had 4 boys to feed and clothe, I had beds to make, and Allie was headed out to school (she's taking a summer course for extra credit). It was 9:15, and as I walked into the kitchen to start the process of feeding those that can not yet get their own breakfast, blood began to squirt out of my eyeballs- ok, not really, but it sure felt like it! Here's what I saw..... Now, it may not look that bad, and it didn't require much more than a broom and dust pan to clean up, but at the time, I was rushing to get ready for speech therapy, and I was trying to talk to my sister in Germany about my mom's current medical situation! The worst part was that Zack had JUST pulled everything out of the pantry yesterday and gave the floors in there a good cleaning! It took me at least 10 minutes (time that I DID NOT HAVE BTW) to remove all the items on the floor, sweep and then vacuum out the area, and then return everything to normal. And guess what the little terrorists were doing while I was cleaning up their mess....... they were tearing apart my living room!!!

The case of the missing pants....

It's been awhile, huh? Did you miss Mr. Matt?! Well, it's not that he has suddenly converted and become a perfect angel- actually, most of the things he does now are even more deliberate and more devious! Oh yeah, he's still up to his daily mischief, I have just been too busy with the kids out of school to record it all! But I know how much people enjoy my Matthew stories, and I've actually had a request to start posting them again! I hate to disappoint, and so does Matthew!! In fact, he was so excited for me to do a new post that I think he deliberately went out this morning and stirred up some trouble ;-)

Zack and I were busy sorting through some stuff to take over to Goodwill this morning, and the kids were all entertaining themselves. Everyone had been dressed for some time, but Matthew had managed to stay in his jammies- mostly due to the fact that I kept forgetting to get him dressed! Anyway, at some point I realized that I hadn't seen Matthew for a few minutes (and we ALL know what that can mean!), and I started looking for him. Everyone joined in and we finally spotted him out in the sandbox, happily entertaining himself. It was really cute, and I decided to let him stay out there for a bit while the rest of us prepared lunch since I could see him out the kitchen window. About 20 minutes later, just as we were sitting down to eat, in comes Matthew. As I turned to catch him making his way through the door, I noticed something I wasn't expecting to see.....actually, something I was expecting to see happened to be missing. Here's what Matthew looked like when he came in the house.... Uh, no, that's not how he looked when he went out the door! Well, actually, I don't know how he looked when he went out the door, but I do know how he looked the last time I saw him, and the last time I saw him he had pants on!!! Instantly, I knew I had a post, so I grabbed my camera before I even said a word (how sad is that?). After I took my picture, I began to question Matthew. Hey buddy, where are your pants? Did you poop in them? Did you pee in them? Why did you take them off? My questions seemed to fall on deaf ears. He just stared at me. Uh oh, this can't be good! I decided to grab my trusty camera and head out on a quest for Matthew's missing pants- I just knew I was going to find something picture-worthy! I didn't have to look far- they were right where I expected to find them......
Yep, right in the middle of the sandbox. The bigger surprise was that there was nothing wrong with them, besides the fact that they were inside out and his undies were stuck inside them (Oh yeah, did I mention he had no undies on either?!)! I picked them up and checked them over, and although they were FULL of sand, they were perfectly clean and dry. Funny, you just never know what 3yr-olds are thinking. He must have decided he didn't like sandy pants!!!

I'll be sure to post again soon- stay tuned!

did I ever tell you about the time.....

that this cute little kid fell in the lake? NO? Well, that's probably because I'm still a bit shaken up over the whole thing! Here's the story.... We were at the lake a couple of weekends ago with our friends, and had just returned to the boat dock and were getting ready to eat. Matthew had taken off his life jacket, and I guess we were all too busy to be thinking clearly about the fact that we were right next to the water and he should probably still have a life jacket on. I don't know what got my attention, but all of a sudden, I noticed Zack was down on his stomach on the dock dragging a drowning Matthew out of the lake!! Matthew had been playing with a rope and backed up just a bit too far, and IN HE WENT! Thankfully, Zack was right there and heard him go in, because it was right next to the boat and Matthew would have been hard to see between the boat and the dock if we didn't know he'd gone in! And when little ones go in, they have a hard time getting their mouth back up above the water to make any noise, so he so easily could have drowned right there next to us, and we wouldn't have known- and now I'm crying again! It's a hard thing to think about. At the time, I was so shaken up, that I started having trouble breathing and my legs gave out. I had to sit down on the dock for a few minutes, and even then it took quite awhile for my legs to stop shaking! I am so thankful for Zack's quick actions, but I'm even more thankful for the angels that God has sent us to protect this wonderful, amazing, trouble-finding child!!!

this might "crack" you up...

...need I say more?!

Someone's swimmin'...

Yep- he took off the floaties and insisted on trying to swim... and within minutes was swimming across the baby pool! No surprise here- we knew Matthew was goin' places... ...and then he added the goggles for more flare!
But, in true Matthew-style, he didn't quite get them on properly...
...note how the strap is under his ears...
It wasn't long before he decided he didn't really need the bling...
Seriously, was there EVER a cuter kid?!?!
Then he got brave and started jumping off the wall while twirling around in the air...
He thought about diving...
and yes, it looks as though he actually did it...
...but he changed his 3 yr-old mind at the last minute...
...and went in safely!!!

Mr. Matt

Wal-Mart madness...

If you've ever been to Wal-Mart with a 3yr-old, then try to imagine going to Wal-Mart with my 3yr-old! Matthew has 5 siblings that came before him, but I'm here to tell ya, nothing they ever did even came close to preparing me for Matthew's Madness!!!

So, yesterday, I had to go to the dreaded Wal-Mart (I'm sorry to say, I'll take Target over Wal-Mart ANY day- there are no lines, the aisles are wider, and they have STARBUCKS in the store!!). I had the 5 youngest kids with me (Sophie being the oldest one there), and it was supposed to be a quick trip. Unfortunately, I had to go out in the gardening section to get potting soil to re-pot the kids plants and veggies that they started from seeds, and I got a little side-tracked by all the beautiful hanging plants that I decided I MUST have since we are no longer moving! Needless to say, by the time I finally got done, Matthew, who was tired and had not had a nap, was on the warpath! He had taken to hitting Josh, Noah and even poor defenseless Jacob (who was sitting in the cart), and he was running through the plants and throwing things everywhere! You know it's bad when some strange lady goes up to your 3yr-old and says honey, don't hit your brother!!! Yep, that's my life- my kids are so bad that other people feel they have to step in and discipline them (just kidding about the bad part- I actually HATE it when people do that because my kids are usually SO well-behaved!)

Anyway, we headed back into the store, and I now had 2 carts loaded down with hanging plants and nowhere to contain Matthew, so he was on the move! Before any of us knew it, he had sprinted down the front section of the store, grabbed a Hershey candy bar from one of the check-out aisles and was holding it above his head and laughing! So close, yet so far..... too far for me to get to him before he did the unthinkable! As several employees and shoppers watched, Matthew did exactly what I knew he was going to do (because, at this point, I always expect him to do what I would never expect!) and launched the candy bar across the store! It went flying into the clothes racks and he went racing after it, laughing hysterically and yelling all the while! Sophie and I tag-teamed it and chased him down to find him hiding under some clothes, still laughing. I dragged him out, spanked his butt, and then made room to buckle him in the cart!! He was bawling, but I was done! As much as we are always on display when we all go out in public, I do not like people lined up to laugh at me as I chase my child across the store!

So, I'll bet you're wondering what we did with that more-than-likely-broken-to-pieces-chocolate-bar that Matthew launched and sent on the ride of a lifetime, right?! Well, we put it back of course!! I mean, seriously, one of my biggest peeves is the way stores insist on leaving all the goodies right down at kid level, where you know they are gonna pick them up and then beg mom and dad to buy them one!! Really, have you ever been shopping with a child uner the age of, oh, let's say--10, that didn't touch all the candy and beg to have a treat?!?! So, if you happen to be shopping and decide to have a chocolate bar and when you go to unwrap it find that it's broken into a million pieces, just think of Matthew and pity the poor parent that had to deal with the child that probably broke it!!!

Hangin' around...

It's a gorgeous day outside today, and so I had the door open to the garage where Matthew was playing happily. At first, I could hear him talking to himself and the bugs, but then I heard him start to whine. I waited a minute or two, but the whining turned to crying, so I went out to investigate, and here's what I found.... Yep, that's Matthew, clinging to the side of my suburban for dear life! So, you know what I did? I made him hang there while I went to get my camera! Yes I did!! Maybe that will teach him....or not! We're still trying to figure out how the heck he got up there.....
My guess is that he climbed up the front of the car and went across the top and then dropped down over the side.....great- that's just what my car needs! How is it that this child has never had a broken bone?!?!

Matthew's milk...

Recently, Matthew has expressed an interest in my nursing Jacob. He comes over and points and then asks lots of questions about the whole process- ya know, questions that only a 3yr-old would ask! It's pretty funny to me because Jacob is 17 months now, and this is the first time Matthew has seemed to notice! Anyway, this morning I was nursing Jacob, and Matthew came over and started up a conversation with me:
Is Jacob eating?
Yes Matthew, Jacob is eating.
What's he eating- is he eating yours milk?
Yes Matthew, he's eating mama's milk.
Is that milk in there (points to boob!)?
Yes Matthew, there's milk in there.
Is that MY milk?
No Matthew, that's not your milk anymore. You used to eat mama's milk when you were a baby.
Is that baby's milk?
Yes Matthew, that's baby's milk.
Oh, then where is MATTHEW'S MILK?!?
Well, it's downstairs in the fridge- you get the BIG BOY milk now!
OHHHH!

You don't say that!

Matthew was just torturing the dog again, and I said Matthew Augustus- leave that dog alone to which he replied you don't say Matthew Augustus! Guess I'm no longer aloud to use his middle name!

The best part...

My kids love yogurt, and they really like the kind where you add the little cookie crunches to the yogurt! And we usually have a pretty good supply of the stuff in the fridge- that is, until Matthew comes along! I opened the fridge this morning to find this... 3 different yogurts missing the best part- the little crunchies that go on top. Matthew has been breaking into the fridge and stealing the toppings right off the tops of the yogurt!!! That explains the little cookie crumbs I found all over the playroom floor!

He did WHAT?!?!

Yeah, that's what I said yesterday when Zack was telling me about Matthew's latest little stunt! Lately, we have had so many activities going on at the same time that Zack and I have had to divide and conquer, and yesterday was no exception. So, while I ran the girls around town to various practices, Zack took Noah to soccer practice, and blessed me by taking Matthew with him! (Now, you know I'm not complaining, as I love the boy dearly, but after spending every moment of every day with him, sometimes I just need a little break!) Anyway, while at the soccer field, Zack decided to spend some quality time playing with Matthew- ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Be careful what you ask for... The idea was to play hide'n'go-seek, and Matthew hid while Zack counted. And he found a nice little hiding place too- right behind a big tree where Zack couldn't see him, but everyone and their brother could! Yep, the tree was very close to a major road, and I know many of you who read about Matthew frequently or know him personally think this is going to be about him running into the middle of the busy road- NOPE! It's way better than that!!! You see, Matthew decided he had to go to the bathroom, and we all know how he has no problem dropping his drawers in public places- but this time, he didn't need to pee.... oh no, that would have been too easy! This time, Matthew had to poop! And he didn't think twice about doing it, nor did he inform Zack that he was about to do it. He is very independent, and when he's going to do something, he just does it! And do it he did! Right in the middle of a very public place. Really, what are you gonna do????? At least he doesn't pick his poop out of his pants with his hands anymore...

Matthewdini...

One of my biggest fears is that one of the kids will leave the lock off the pantry door, giving Matthew access to a whole host of snacks, plastic cups (which he fills full of water), and plastic bags (I'm afraid to think what he might do with those)! Here's how are pantry looks... You would think that the lock we have on the door- the one that requires two hands to get open- would be enough security until Matthew outgrows his mischief (at least the worst of it anyway!). Well, today I found out the hard way that we have a lock-picker in our house, and he's the very one we're trying so desperately to KEEP OUT!!! I came downstairs from making the beds to find a very scary scene! Matthew had been upstairs with me, but he managed to sneak down a few minutes before I was done with the beds, and I made the mistake in thinking that I was almost done and he'd be okay for a couple of minutes- when it comes to Matthew, you can never let down your guard!! When I finally made it downstairs, I found Matthew standing innocently in the kitchen in front of the fridge. That was my first clue...! Whatcha doin' Matthew? He walked silently over to the fridge and opened up the door and took something out. I looked down to see a bag of microwave popcorn in his hand. No Matthew, we're not having popcorn right now, and why did you take it out of the bag, and how the heck did you get this in the first place?!?! I reached down and took the bag from him and realized at once that it was hot and he must have had it in the microwave, which then explained why he had it in the fridge- he was trying to cool it off cuz it was too hot!!! I turned around to look at the microwave, and here's what I saw...
Sure enough, he HAD used the microwave, and although the popcorn didn't pop, the bag was definitely hot! I then went over to the pantry as I tried to put it all together in my mind. Had I left the pantry open?? I noticed that the lock was missing. Where's the lock Matthew? It was in the living room, and Matthew happily retrieved it for me, oh -so -proud of himself for knowing where it was! I took it from him and realized it was still closed, which meant that the little bugger figured out how to wiggle the darn thing off! Ugh! I had been hoping that maybe, just maybe, I had left it open a little and he had worked it off. But no luck, and now he has complete access to the pantry, and the microwave for that matter!!! May the good Lord help us now!!

Big undies...

I know it seems like I never post on Matthew's blog anymore! It's not that he never does anything worth posting, but so much of it is variations of the same old stuff... peeing in the middle of the road, drawing on furniture, breaking things, eating very weird things, running away, etc. etc. etc.! I figure everyone can only read so much of that stuff as I know I can only take so much of it!!! But today, Matthew said something that made me cringe. I was getting dressed, and Matthew says mom, are those dad's underwears- those are big, big,big underwears!!! NO, I'm not exaggerating on the big part either- he really said it 3 times! Ok- I know I'm not the thinnest person in the world, but I certainly do not wear underwear that even closely resembles my husband's! In fact, (sorry to be so graphic here, but I have to clear my name!) I wear bikini underwear! Now, they're not string bikini or anything, and they're certainly not a size 4, but they are not and never will be as big as my husband's! And now I'm wondering why the heck I even feel the need to share all this info with complete strangers- oh well, at least someone gets to laugh about this!

That orange snake...

It's baaaaaccckkkk! That orange snake that Matthew cut in half with the scissors a couple of months ago has returned- well, not that exact same snake, but its twin! Yep, I broke down and bought another one for Matthew for his birthday in March, and he hasn't parted with it yet. He loves it so much! Unfortunately, he also likes to fling it around and is constantly hitting people with it. And the latest stunt came when I opened my freezer the other day to find a lovely rubber snake on the shelf! Lovely...

Pretzels w/cheese and green tees...

Here are two of Matthew's most favorite things- he's wearing one and eating the other! Over spring break, the kids did some tye-dye t-shirts, and they made one for Matthew, and now he insists on wearing it EVERY day! I've tried and tried to trick him, but he's determined, and he doesn't care what he wears it with either:) And his new favorite thing to eat is a pretzel w/some cheese on top- ya know, one of those frozen super pretzels- yum! Lately, it's been his choice for breakfast, which is fine with me. I like to feed the kids what they'll eat, instead of dumping a bunch of food that I think they should have in the trash. So, sometimes it's pb&j for breakfast, sometimes it's super pretzels, and we've even had some mac and cheese:) Those are the little things that I've learned not to stress over! Anyway, I digress, Matthew did the cutest thing this morning. He decided to have yogurt for breakfast- fine with me- but about an hour later, I heard him banging around in the kitchen. By the time I got in there, he had a frozen pretzel on a plate and sitting in the microwave!!! Wow- I was impressed! He was in the fridge digging around for the cheese and he told me you need to unfreeze my pretzel mom! There's no doubt that this kid is goin' places:) And here he is with his two favorites...

M-Dawg!

Allie has some new "nicknames" for herself and Matthew! They are now known as "M-Dawg" and "A-Cat!" Love it!

And on another note, seeing as how I haven't posted any of Matthew's Madness lately, Matthew has a new trick. Although he is supposed to be potty-trained, he has decided it's rather fun to poop just a little in his pants, and then pick it out with his hands, carry it around, take it on a date... just kidding about the last part, but he really does take it out, throws it in the trash and says "there!" And just the other day, when we were shopping at Target, Matthew came up to me with something in his hand- you guessed it- it was a piece of poop! Just to put things in perspective, these are pretty small pieces, about the size of a raisin. I guess that sounds bad to most people, but somehow, I've come to accept the madness of my M-Dawg!!!

Today...

Holy schmoly (I don't know if that's an appropriate phrase or not, but I now say it all the time! Between Matthew and the dog (what was I thinking when I decided to add a dog to this chaos?), I may very well just lose my mind...

Here's what Matthew did today:
1) plugged in my curling iron and then stuck it in his mouth- who DOES that???- yes, he burned his lip
2) ran down the street and then peed in the middle of it and then came running back home with his pants down around his ankles cuz he couldn't get them back up
3) the kids were doing tye-dye t-shirts today, and he grabbed a bottle of the dye and squirted it ALL over the driveway- yes, it's permanent, and YES, we're still trying to sell the house
4) he stuck his head in the garden and got his hair full of rubber mulch, which he then flung ALL over the sidewalk

Well, that's all for now, but the night is young and Matthew is still awake... I live in fear...

pump me up!

Emily found Matthew outside with the bike pump and when she asked him what he was doing, he stuck the pump in his mouth and started pumping and replied "I'm pumping me up!"

Hee, hee...

I posted this picture on my other blog and then thought it should be here too! It's pretty funny!

Lesson learned...or not!

Ever since we got our new puppy back in November, we have been telling Matthew not to hit him because he will bite! Of course, this warning has fallen on deaf ears! It has finally come to pass that Matthew hit the dog one too many times, and the dog bit him- big surprise. It was a pretty good (or bad, depending on how you look at it) bite, and Matthew cried and went on and on about it last night after it happened. He even talked about it under his breath as he drifted off to sleep- that DOG bit me and I was bleeding and it hurt and now I have blood and that DOG bites! I was hoping that would be a "lesson learned," however, first thing this morning, I caught him squirting the dog with a squirt bottle- well, maybe he learned to keep his distance when tormenting the dog!