Matthew's Madness

Banana Bread anyone?!

2009-08-20T10:00:00.001-07:00

Look what I found under the couch this morning.....

At least two days old!! Banana Bread anyone???????

And yes, Matthew DID it!

His other new trick is pulling all the staws off the juice boxes so that, when I need them for the boys' lunch, there are NO straws to be found- LOVELY!

Would you like some food with that?!?!

2009-08-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, we all know that Matthew loves butter, and there has been more than one occasion when I have found him with a tub of butter and a spoon or a knife stuck in it! So it certainly did not come as a surprise when I came downstairs this morning after changing Jacob's diaper to find this in the playroom...... Yep, Matthew decided to get his own breakfast this morning!

Opposites!

2009-08-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

Sophie and Matthew were just having a "wrestling match" and Sophie said to Matthew:

Matthew, you're goin' doooowwwnnnn!

To which Matthew replied:

Sophie, you're goin' uuuuuuppppppp!!!

Broken heart

2009-08-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

Matthew just came up to me and said this:

Mom, Joshua broke my heart!
(ME) He did?
Yeah- he broke my heart and he tore it apart!

Gee, do you think someone has older sisters that listen to the radio?! Actually, they're all downstairs playing rockband, but the boys are fighting, so Josh must have hit Matthew or something- who knows! It was pretty funny to hear him repeat the words from a song when he was talking about Josh hitting him ;-)

Terrorist Toddlers!

2009-07-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, that may be a little politically incorrect, but as far as I'm concerned it's the truth!!! Yep, there are lunatic toddlers (Matthew and his little apprentice Jacob!) in my house, and they are out to get me. Their goal is to drive me right up the freakin' wall! And they know NO boundaries- NONE! This morning, for instance, I had lots of stuff going on. The speech therapist was coming over to the house to work with Jacob at 9:45, I had 4 boys to feed and clothe, I had beds to make, and Allie was headed out to school (she's taking a summer course for extra credit). It was 9:15, and as I walked into the kitchen to start the process of feeding those that can not yet get their own breakfast, blood began to squirt out of my eyeballs- ok, not really, but it sure felt like it! Here's what I saw..... Now, it may not look that bad, and it didn't require much more than a broom and dust pan to clean up, but at the time, I was rushing to get ready for speech therapy, and I was trying to talk to my sister in Germany about my mom's current medical situation! The worst part was that Zack had JUST pulled everything out of the pantry yesterday and gave the floors in there a good cleaning! It took me at least 10 minutes (time that I DID NOT HAVE BTW) to remove all the items on the floor, sweep and then vacuum out the area, and then return everything to normal. And guess what the little terrorists were doing while I was cleaning up their mess....... they were tearing apart my living room!!!

The case of the missing pants....

2009-07-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile, huh? Did you miss Mr. Matt?! Well, it's not that he has suddenly converted and become a perfect angel- actually, most of the things he does now are even more deliberate and more devious! Oh yeah, he's still up to his daily mischief, I have just been too busy with the kids out of school to record it all! But I know how much people enjoy my Matthew stories, and I've actually had a request to start posting them again! I hate to disappoint, and so does Matthew!! In fact, he was so excited for me to do a new post that I think he deliberately went out this morning and stirred up some trouble ;-)

Zack and I were busy sorting through some stuff to take over to Goodwill this morning, and the kids were all entertaining themselves. Everyone had been dressed for some time, but Matthew had managed to stay in his jammies- mostly due to the fact that I kept forgetting to get him dressed! Anyway, at some point I realized that I hadn't seen Matthew for a few minutes (and we ALL know what that can mean!), and I started looking for him. Everyone joined in and we finally spotted him out in the sandbox, happily entertaining himself. It was really cute, and I decided to let him stay out there for a bit while the rest of us prepared lunch since I could see him out the kitchen window. About 20 minutes later, just as we were sitting down to eat, in comes Matthew. As I turned to catch him making his way through the door, I noticed something I wasn't expecting to see.....actually, something I was expecting to see happened to be missing. Here's what Matthew looked like when he came in the house.... Uh, no, that's not how he looked when he went out the door! Well, actually, I don't know how he looked when he went out the door, but I do know how he looked the last time I saw him, and the last time I saw him he had pants on!!! Instantly, I knew I had a post, so I grabbed my camera before I even said a word (how sad is that?). After I took my picture, I began to question Matthew. Hey buddy, where are your pants? Did you poop in them? Did you pee in them? Why did you take them off? My questions seemed to fall on deaf ears. He just stared at me. Uh oh, this can't be good! I decided to grab my trusty camera and head out on a quest for Matthew's missing pants- I just knew I was going to find something picture-worthy! I didn't have to look far- they were right where I expected to find them......
Yep, right in the middle of the sandbox. The bigger surprise was that there was nothing wrong with them, besides the fact that they were inside out and his undies were stuck inside them (Oh yeah, did I mention he had no undies on either?!)! I picked them up and checked them over, and although they were FULL of sand, they were perfectly clean and dry. Funny, you just never know what 3yr-olds are thinking. He must have decided he didn't like sandy pants!!!

I'll be sure to post again soon- stay tuned!

did I ever tell you about the time.....

2009-07-01T07:32:00.001-07:00

that this cute little kid fell in the lake? NO? Well, that's probably because I'm still a bit shaken up over the whole thing! Here's the story.... We were at the lake a couple of weekends ago with our friends, and had just returned to the boat dock and were getting ready to eat. Matthew had taken off his life jacket, and I guess we were all too busy to be thinking clearly about the fact that we were right next to the water and he should probably still have a life jacket on. I don't know what got my attention, but all of a sudden, I noticed Zack was down on his stomach on the dock dragging a drowning Matthew out of the lake!! Matthew had been playing with a rope and backed up just a bit too far, and IN HE WENT! Thankfully, Zack was right there and heard him go in, because it was right next to the boat and Matthew would have been hard to see between the boat and the dock if we didn't know he'd gone in! And when little ones go in, they have a hard time getting their mouth back up above the water to make any noise, so he so easily could have drowned right there next to us, and we wouldn't have known- and now I'm crying again! It's a hard thing to think about. At the time, I was so shaken up, that I started having trouble breathing and my legs gave out. I had to sit down on the dock for a few minutes, and even then it took quite awhile for my legs to stop shaking! I am so thankful for Zack's quick actions, but I'm even more thankful for the angels that God has sent us to protect this wonderful, amazing, trouble-finding child!!!

this might "crack" you up...

2009-06-04T06:25:00.001-07:00

...need I say more?!

Someone's swimmin'...

2009-05-31T21:29:00.001-07:00

Yep- he took off the floaties and insisted on trying to swim... and within minutes was swimming across the baby pool! No surprise here- we knew Matthew was goin' places... ...and then he added the goggles for more flare!
But, in true Matthew-style, he didn't quite get them on properly...
...note how the strap is under his ears...
It wasn't long before he decided he didn't really need the bling...
Seriously, was there EVER a cuter kid?!?!
Then he got brave and started jumping off the wall while twirling around in the air...
He thought about diving...
and yes, it looks as though he actually did it...
...but he changed his 3 yr-old mind at the last minute...
...and went in safely!!!

Mr. Matt

2009-05-19T09:18:00.001-07:00

Wal-Mart madness...

2009-05-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

If you've ever been to Wal-Mart with a 3yr-old, then try to imagine going to Wal-Mart with my 3yr-old! Matthew has 5 siblings that came before him, but I'm here to tell ya, nothing they ever did even came close to preparing me for Matthew's Madness!!!

So, yesterday, I had to go to the dreaded Wal-Mart (I'm sorry to say, I'll take Target over Wal-Mart ANY day- there are no lines, the aisles are wider, and they have STARBUCKS in the store!!). I had the 5 youngest kids with me (Sophie being the oldest one there), and it was supposed to be a quick trip. Unfortunately, I had to go out in the gardening section to get potting soil to re-pot the kids plants and veggies that they started from seeds, and I got a little side-tracked by all the beautiful hanging plants that I decided I MUST have since we are no longer moving! Needless to say, by the time I finally got done, Matthew, who was tired and had not had a nap, was on the warpath! He had taken to hitting Josh, Noah and even poor defenseless Jacob (who was sitting in the cart), and he was running through the plants and throwing things everywhere! You know it's bad when some strange lady goes up to your 3yr-old and says honey, don't hit your brother!!! Yep, that's my life- my kids are so bad that other people feel they have to step in and discipline them (just kidding about the bad part- I actually HATE it when people do that because my kids are usually SO well-behaved!)

Anyway, we headed back into the store, and I now had 2 carts loaded down with hanging plants and nowhere to contain Matthew, so he was on the move! Before any of us knew it, he had sprinted down the front section of the store, grabbed a Hershey candy bar from one of the check-out aisles and was holding it above his head and laughing! So close, yet so far..... too far for me to get to him before he did the unthinkable! As several employees and shoppers watched, Matthew did exactly what I knew he was going to do (because, at this point, I always expect him to do what I would never expect!) and launched the candy bar across the store! It went flying into the clothes racks and he went racing after it, laughing hysterically and yelling all the while! Sophie and I tag-teamed it and chased him down to find him hiding under some clothes, still laughing. I dragged him out, spanked his butt, and then made room to buckle him in the cart!! He was bawling, but I was done! As much as we are always on display when we all go out in public, I do not like people lined up to laugh at me as I chase my child across the store!

So, I'll bet you're wondering what we did with that more-than-likely-broken-to-pieces-chocolate-bar that Matthew launched and sent on the ride of a lifetime, right?! Well, we put it back of course!! I mean, seriously, one of my biggest peeves is the way stores insist on leaving all the goodies right down at kid level, where you know they are gonna pick them up and then beg mom and dad to buy them one!! Really, have you ever been shopping with a child uner the age of, oh, let's say--10, that didn't touch all the candy and beg to have a treat?!?! So, if you happen to be shopping and decide to have a chocolate bar and when you go to unwrap it find that it's broken into a million pieces, just think of Matthew and pity the poor parent that had to deal with the child that probably broke it!!!

Hangin' around...

2009-05-14T12:49:00.001-07:00

It's a gorgeous day outside today, and so I had the door open to the garage where Matthew was playing happily. At first, I could hear him talking to himself and the bugs, but then I heard him start to whine. I waited a minute or two, but the whining turned to crying, so I went out to investigate, and here's what I found.... Yep, that's Matthew, clinging to the side of my suburban for dear life! So, you know what I did? I made him hang there while I went to get my camera! Yes I did!! Maybe that will teach him....or not! We're still trying to figure out how the heck he got up there.....
My guess is that he climbed up the front of the car and went across the top and then dropped down over the side.....great- that's just what my car needs! How is it that this child has never had a broken bone?!?!

Matthew's milk...

2009-05-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Recently, Matthew has expressed an interest in my nursing Jacob. He comes over and points and then asks lots of questions about the whole process- ya know, questions that only a 3yr-old would ask! It's pretty funny to me because Jacob is 17 months now, and this is the first time Matthew has seemed to notice! Anyway, this morning I was nursing Jacob, and Matthew came over and started up a conversation with me:
Is Jacob eating?
Yes Matthew, Jacob is eating.
What's he eating- is he eating yours milk?
Yes Matthew, he's eating mama's milk.
Is that milk in there (points to boob!)?
Yes Matthew, there's milk in there.
Is that MY milk?
No Matthew, that's not your milk anymore. You used to eat mama's milk when you were a baby.
Is that baby's milk?
Yes Matthew, that's baby's milk.
Oh, then where is MATTHEW'S MILK?!?
Well, it's downstairs in the fridge- you get the BIG BOY milk now!
OHHHH!

You don't say that!

2009-04-29T11:30:00.001-07:00

Matthew was just torturing the dog again, and I said Matthew Augustus- leave that dog alone to which he replied you don't say Matthew Augustus! Guess I'm no longer aloud to use his middle name!

The best part...

2009-04-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

My kids love yogurt, and they really like the kind where you add the little cookie crunches to the yogurt! And we usually have a pretty good supply of the stuff in the fridge- that is, until Matthew comes along! I opened the fridge this morning to find this... 3 different yogurts missing the best part- the little crunchies that go on top. Matthew has been breaking into the fridge and stealing the toppings right off the tops of the yogurt!!! That explains the little cookie crumbs I found all over the playroom floor!

He did WHAT?!?!

2009-04-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's what I said yesterday when Zack was telling me about Matthew's latest little stunt! Lately, we have had so many activities going on at the same time that Zack and I have had to divide and conquer, and yesterday was no exception. So, while I ran the girls around town to various practices, Zack took Noah to soccer practice, and blessed me by taking Matthew with him! (Now, you know I'm not complaining, as I love the boy dearly, but after spending every moment of every day with him, sometimes I just need a little break!) Anyway, while at the soccer field, Zack decided to spend some quality time playing with Matthew- ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Be careful what you ask for... The idea was to play hide'n'go-seek, and Matthew hid while Zack counted. And he found a nice little hiding place too- right behind a big tree where Zack couldn't see him, but everyone and their brother could! Yep, the tree was very close to a major road, and I know many of you who read about Matthew frequently or know him personally think this is going to be about him running into the middle of the busy road- NOPE! It's way better than that!!! You see, Matthew decided he had to go to the bathroom, and we all know how he has no problem dropping his drawers in public places- but this time, he didn't need to pee.... oh no, that would have been too easy! This time, Matthew had to poop! And he didn't think twice about doing it, nor did he inform Zack that he was about to do it. He is very independent, and when he's going to do something, he just does it! And do it he did! Right in the middle of a very public place. Really, what are you gonna do????? At least he doesn't pick his poop out of his pants with his hands anymore...

Matthewdini...

2009-04-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest fears is that one of the kids will leave the lock off the pantry door, giving Matthew access to a whole host of snacks, plastic cups (which he fills full of water), and plastic bags (I'm afraid to think what he might do with those)! Here's how are pantry looks... You would think that the lock we have on the door- the one that requires two hands to get open- would be enough security until Matthew outgrows his mischief (at least the worst of it anyway!). Well, today I found out the hard way that we have a lock-picker in our house, and he's the very one we're trying so desperately to KEEP OUT!!! I came downstairs from making the beds to find a very scary scene! Matthew had been upstairs with me, but he managed to sneak down a few minutes before I was done with the beds, and I made the mistake in thinking that I was almost done and he'd be okay for a couple of minutes- when it comes to Matthew, you can never let down your guard!! When I finally made it downstairs, I found Matthew standing innocently in the kitchen in front of the fridge. That was my first clue...! Whatcha doin' Matthew? He walked silently over to the fridge and opened up the door and took something out. I looked down to see a bag of microwave popcorn in his hand. No Matthew, we're not having popcorn right now, and why did you take it out of the bag, and how the heck did you get this in the first place?!?! I reached down and took the bag from him and realized at once that it was hot and he must have had it in the microwave, which then explained why he had it in the fridge- he was trying to cool it off cuz it was too hot!!! I turned around to look at the microwave, and here's what I saw...
Sure enough, he HAD used the microwave, and although the popcorn didn't pop, the bag was definitely hot! I then went over to the pantry as I tried to put it all together in my mind. Had I left the pantry open?? I noticed that the lock was missing. Where's the lock Matthew? It was in the living room, and Matthew happily retrieved it for me, oh -so -proud of himself for knowing where it was! I took it from him and realized it was still closed, which meant that the little bugger figured out how to wiggle the darn thing off! Ugh! I had been hoping that maybe, just maybe, I had left it open a little and he had worked it off. But no luck, and now he has complete access to the pantry, and the microwave for that matter!!! May the good Lord help us now!!

Big undies...

2009-04-13T12:55:00.000-07:00

I know it seems like I never post on Matthew's blog anymore! It's not that he never does anything worth posting, but so much of it is variations of the same old stuff... peeing in the middle of the road, drawing on furniture, breaking things, eating very weird things, running away, etc. etc. etc.! I figure everyone can only read so much of that stuff as I know I can only take so much of it!!! But today, Matthew said something that made me cringe. I was getting dressed, and Matthew says mom, are those dad's underwears- those are big, big,big underwears!!! NO, I'm not exaggerating on the big part either- he really said it 3 times! Ok- I know I'm not the thinnest person in the world, but I certainly do not wear underwear that even closely resembles my husband's! In fact, (sorry to be so graphic here, but I have to clear my name!) I wear bikini underwear! Now, they're not string bikini or anything, and they're certainly not a size 4, but they are not and never will be as big as my husband's! And now I'm wondering why the heck I even feel the need to share all this info with complete strangers- oh well, at least someone gets to laugh about this!

That orange snake...

2009-04-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

It's baaaaaccckkkk! That orange snake that Matthew cut in half with the scissors a couple of months ago has returned- well, not that exact same snake, but its twin! Yep, I broke down and bought another one for Matthew for his birthday in March, and he hasn't parted with it yet. He loves it so much! Unfortunately, he also likes to fling it around and is constantly hitting people with it. And the latest stunt came when I opened my freezer the other day to find a lovely rubber snake on the shelf! Lovely...

Pretzels w/cheese and green tees...

2009-03-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

Here are two of Matthew's most favorite things- he's wearing one and eating the other! Over spring break, the kids did some tye-dye t-shirts, and they made one for Matthew, and now he insists on wearing it EVERY day! I've tried and tried to trick him, but he's determined, and he doesn't care what he wears it with either:) And his new favorite thing to eat is a pretzel w/some cheese on top- ya know, one of those frozen super pretzels- yum! Lately, it's been his choice for breakfast, which is fine with me. I like to feed the kids what they'll eat, instead of dumping a bunch of food that I think they should have in the trash. So, sometimes it's pb&j for breakfast, sometimes it's super pretzels, and we've even had some mac and cheese:) Those are the little things that I've learned not to stress over! Anyway, I digress, Matthew did the cutest thing this morning. He decided to have yogurt for breakfast- fine with me- but about an hour later, I heard him banging around in the kitchen. By the time I got in there, he had a frozen pretzel on a plate and sitting in the microwave!!! Wow- I was impressed! He was in the fridge digging around for the cheese and he told me you need to unfreeze my pretzel mom! There's no doubt that this kid is goin' places:) And here he is with his two favorites...

M-Dawg!

2009-03-28T16:29:00.000-07:00

Allie has some new "nicknames" for herself and Matthew! They are now known as "M-Dawg" and "A-Cat!" Love it!

And on another note, seeing as how I haven't posted any of Matthew's Madness lately, Matthew has a new trick. Although he is supposed to be potty-trained, he has decided it's rather fun to poop just a little in his pants, and then pick it out with his hands, carry it around, take it on a date... just kidding about the last part, but he really does take it out, throws it in the trash and says "there!" And just the other day, when we were shopping at Target, Matthew came up to me with something in his hand- you guessed it- it was a piece of poop! Just to put things in perspective, these are pretty small pieces, about the size of a raisin. I guess that sounds bad to most people, but somehow, I've come to accept the madness of my M-Dawg!!!

Today...

2009-03-19T17:32:00.000-07:00

Holy schmoly (I don't know if that's an appropriate phrase or not, but I now say it all the time! Between Matthew and the dog (what was I thinking when I decided to add a dog to this chaos?), I may very well just lose my mind...

Here's what Matthew did today:
1) plugged in my curling iron and then stuck it in his mouth- who DOES that???- yes, he burned his lip
2) ran down the street and then peed in the middle of it and then came running back home with his pants down around his ankles cuz he couldn't get them back up
3) the kids were doing tye-dye t-shirts today, and he grabbed a bottle of the dye and squirted it ALL over the driveway- yes, it's permanent, and YES, we're still trying to sell the house
4) he stuck his head in the garden and got his hair full of rubber mulch, which he then flung ALL over the sidewalk

Well, that's all for now, but the night is young and Matthew is still awake... I live in fear...

pump me up!

2009-03-17T18:05:00.001-07:00

Emily found Matthew outside with the bike pump and when she asked him what he was doing, he stuck the pump in his mouth and started pumping and replied "I'm pumping me up!"

Hee, hee...

2009-03-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

I posted this picture on my other blog and then thought it should be here too! It's pretty funny!

Lesson learned...or not!

2009-03-12T06:24:00.001-07:00

Ever since we got our new puppy back in November, we have been telling Matthew not to hit him because he will bite! Of course, this warning has fallen on deaf ears! It has finally come to pass that Matthew hit the dog one too many times, and the dog bit him- big surprise. It was a pretty good (or bad, depending on how you look at it) bite, and Matthew cried and went on and on about it last night after it happened. He even talked about it under his breath as he drifted off to sleep- that DOG bit me and I was bleeding and it hurt and now I have blood and that DOG bites! I was hoping that would be a "lesson learned," however, first thing this morning, I caught him squirting the dog with a squirt bottle- well, maybe he learned to keep his distance when tormenting the dog!

Update...

2009-03-11T07:42:00.001-07:00

YES, YES, YES! That is the same couch and YES, it is all clean!!! If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about, then you better check out the previous post- I know everyone else is now doing the happy dance for me and wondering if I am going to share my secret of the dreaded sharpie removal! YES- and here it is...

It ALL came out with this great, amazing stuff that I found at Target! All but one spot that I didn't see and didn't get the stain remover on- which just proves that this stuff works! I simply poured this onto all the sharpie stains, let it soak in for 15 min. or so, and then threw it all in the laundry- no scrubbing- and VOILA, it all came out! Doesn't EVERY mom need this tool in her chest?!

Sharpie strikes again...

2009-03-10T20:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true! Matthew found the sharpie stash and went crazy! It's a little hard to see, but he took a green sharpie to my Pottery Barn sofa in a BIG way! He drew ALL OVER the tops of the cushions and then all along the bottom of the front section.

Then, he apparently decided that green was Jacob's color too, and he had a great time coloring on him as well! I was so mad that I freaked poor Jacob out when I was yelling at Matthew, and he started to cry- poor baby!

It's even on the top and back of his little head! I think he may be wearing it for a while!

I'm washing the cushions right now with some special "stuff," so we'll see if I can get any of it out. Fortunately, I can flip the cushions over, but there's not much I can do about the front section, and the baby will probably still be green for St. Patty's Day:)

TMI...

2009-03-05T11:45:00.000-08:00

Well, this is probably too much info for most people, but I'm sure the grandparents will get a kick out of it... or not! So, lately, Matthew has been talking about body parts- his and everyone else's! FYI- he calls his penis his "peanut," so when I refer to that term you'll know what we're really talking about (and YES, we do use the correct term with him and always correct him, but he insists on "peanut"- maybe his just too closely resembles an actual peanut)! Anyway, today the conversation started up in its usual fashion- "I have a peanut, daddy has a peanut, Josh has a peanut, Allie has a peanut..." I quickly correct- "no, Allie doesn't have a peanut, she's a girl, just like mommy and Emily and Sophie." That's the "normal" routine, but today, Matthew all of a sudden throws this out there- "yeah, girls don't have peanuts, they just have butts!" Welllll, not too sure what exactly he was referring to at the time, but I found it pretty funny!!! And believe it or not, we've actually heard worse things come out of some of our other childrens' mouths in regard to body parts!!!

Broken Daddy...

2009-03-04T17:24:00.001-08:00

Matthew has been saying the funniest thing lately- whenever he wants Zack, he says I want Daddy. So, when I reply that Dad is at work or gone somewhere, he says I want broken Daddy- to which I reply that even broken Daddy is gone! I'm not sure who broken Daddy is exactly, or where Matthew came up with that one, but it's pretty cute- I'm sure that Zack sometimes feels like broken Daddy!!!

Good find...

2009-02-27T13:15:00.000-08:00

Matthew loves ring pops! And next to getting Icees at Target, they are his most favorite treat! So, when Target had out all of their Valentine's Day candy, I noticed some bags of heart ring pops for .99 each- they had 6 or 8 lollies in each bag-bingo! I immediately bought 2 bags, and then went back and bought 4 more- yay!!! As far as Matthew is concerned, they are like pure gold! If I want him to do anything, I simply say "I'll give you a ring pop," and it's as good as done! Hey, I've learned some things over the years, and I am all about bribery!!! Just look at the smile on that face!!!

Cute!

2009-02-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

I told Matthew to get his socks on so we could go pick up the boys from school, and he turned and handed them to me and said "mom, can you tie them for me." He wanted me to help him put them on! Kids say the cutest things!

A 2yr-old's job is never done...

2009-02-24T11:41:00.000-08:00

Yep, he broke it... had to finish off the job. He broke the matching one a few months ago. I really loved that jar- guess I should have put it up higher, huh?!

Mommy, I cut my "nake"...

2009-02-21T15:21:00.000-08:00

No, that's nothing bad! Matthew just tends to drop his "s" from the beginning of words- that is actually how he says "snake." Now that we got that cleared up... on with the story:)
So, I thought I was being smarter than my kids when we first moved into this house, and I put all the scissors and knives up in the highest cabinet in the kitchen (above both the oven and microwave). Well, it didn't take Matthew long to not only figure out where we kept the stash, but also exactly how to get to it! For the last couple of months, he has been pulling a stool over to the cabinet and climbing up and getting the scissors for whatever he thinks he needs to "cut" at the time. It freaks me out because I worry that he will fall off the stool and onto the scissors! Anyway, back to the story, several days ago we were shopping at Target and he latched onto a bright orange rubber snake that I just couldn't resist buying for him. And let me tell you, it was worth every penny. That "nake" went everywhere Matthew went 24/7- in the car, in his bed, in the bathroom- you get the idea! So, I was upstairs nursing Jacob yesterday (everyone else was gone), and I had left Matthew downstairs because he was half-asleep watching "Sponge-Bob" (yes, I admit it, and there's NO shame- I relish those few minutes when he zones out in front of the t.v.!) when all of a sudden, I heard the distinct sound of a stool being dragged across the wood floor below. I knew it was Matthew headed for something, and I was helpless to do anything but sit there and pray "God, please don't let it be too bad!" By the time I got downstairs, the deed was done. Yep, you guessed it, he got the scissors. The first thing I noticed was a tube of gogurt that had been cut open and yogurt had been smeared all over the stool cushion. And then I saw the snake- that poor orange rubber snake that had meant so much was now cut in half, its plastic bead filling spilling out all over the counter and floor. I looked at Matthew, and he proudly smiled and said "I cut my nake- fix it mommy!" I was so sad for him- I knew how much he loved that snake! But I also know that's the only way these kiddos learn that there actions have consequences. I have to admit, I was tempted to run over to Target and buy another snake, but I know that wouldn't be the right thing to do. And he does understand that he no longer has a snake because he cut it- yes, it's been the subject of many conversations since yesterday:) Maybe that "nake" was worth even more cut in half than it was when it was whole! Ahhh, those little life-lessons!

Say it ain't so...

2009-02-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

I wish I didn't have to write this, and I suppose that I could just skip this post, but I really do want to record everything Matthew does so that I never forget, although I doubt I'll EVER forget this one!!! Yesterday, as we were getting ready for the day, I was getting clothes out for the boys when I heard Sophie scream "no, Matthew, no- don't you dare!" But it was too late.... Matthew, who was running around naked while waiting for his clothes, had announced that he was going to "pee on Jacob." Jacob happened to be sitting on the floor, and since Matthew had nothing on, there was no stopping him from IMMEDIATE action! Yes, he peed on the baby- all over him. I put Jacob right in the bath, and Mr. Matthew got a big spanking and got to sit in time-out. Last night, he also got to tell Daddy what he did. I don't expect it to happen again- but then, I never would have expected it in the first place!!!

The art of corruption...

2009-02-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

Matthew has an apprentice, and he couldn't be more happy about it! Yes, baby Jake has signed up for Matthew's School of Bad! The worst part is, he's getting all A's!!! Here they are destroying the couch and jumping on it!

Butter anyone...?

2009-02-15T10:13:00.000-08:00

Emily came in my room this morning and said "nobody was watching Matthew and he deciced to have a little snack!" Matthew LOVES butter, and if left alone, will eat it by the spoonfuls- or, in this case, the knifefuls!!! Notice the way he is relaxing on the couch, feet crossed, watching Sponge Bob...

Woo-hoo!!!

2009-02-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

Yay- a kind and sweet person signed up to follow this blog!!! I'm sooooo excited to finally have that big "0" gone! I really do enjoy writing this one, and I like to think that others enjoy it too! Thank you so much for making my day:)

WHAT? Excuse me?

2009-02-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

WHAT a day!!! I know that I potty-trained Matthew, or that he pretty much trained himself, but lately I'm beginning to wonder about him! This morning was our first incident. Matthew was playing so nicely with a backpack full of his toy cars in the living room. I should have known something was up, because he was playing behind the couch instead of out in the open. Sadly, I chose to take advantage of the peace and quiet and work on some "paperwork" (which consists of bills, notes to teachers, dr. appts., etc.!) instead of checking on him. A little while later, when it was time to clean up, I noticed some wet spots on the wood floor. Not knowing where the "water" came from, I assumed the dog had "dribbled" some pee on the floor (he is still a puppy and it happens sometimes when he gets really excited) and got out my mop and cleaned it up. As I began to re-load the backpack with the cars, I noticed some of the cars were wet also, and there was more "water" leaking from the backpack as well. I finally asked Matthew where the water came from, knowing that he had no cup in the living room. Here's what he said: "I peed in the backpack mommy." WHAT? Excuse me? So I, genius that I am, smelled the backpack. YEP, it was pee. Backpack in the trash, cars in the laundry room sink to get washed, end of that. I stupidly believed that I could let my guard down after that little stunt- when will I learn? The next incident happened in the chaos of the afternoon, when all the kids were home from school, and I couldn't tell whether I was coming or going, as is usually the case when all the kids first get home. I was sorting through piles of "kid-work" when I happened to look over and see Matthew coming at me, no pants or underwear on, with both hands outstretched and something in each one. "Mommy, I pooped" says Matthew. WHAT? Excuse me? (my new catchphrase) I examined his hands more closely, this time I was smart enough to NOT smell the evidence- I do learn from my mistakes occasionally-although there was no mistaking what the two little round, brown balls were. Run to the toilet, throw it in, wash hands. What will tomorrow bring.....?

Mom's madness...

2009-02-10T11:34:00.000-08:00

Will someone pleeeeaaaase call the Sharpie Police on me! I do not deserve to own any sharpies ever again! You would think after the last incident involving my favorite chair, I would have learned my lesson, but apparently I did not. Matthew was upstairs w/out me today for less than 5 minutes, and I DO know better than that, but sometimes I'm just in the middle of cleaning up the kitchen or starting a load of laundry- can I not even have a break to do those mundane chores?!! Does the child NOT understand that we do not write on things with sharpie? Do I always have to be "on guard?" Wait, don't tell me... no, no and yes!!! Anyway, here are the results of my stupidity and the new source of my madness!!!
This is Noah's duvet cover- fortunately, I can turn this over! This is the carpet- Zack will not be happy!

This is the table- I already cleaned this up- thank you Magic Eraser!

The boy's chalkboard- at least it can be replaced!

The night-shift!

2009-02-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

Well, Matthew slept in a little this morning- didn't get up til 9:30 (usually up at 7:30). It may have been due to the fact that he was up all night long! How do I know this? Well, I realized he was cruising the house when the overhead light in my bedroom when on at 2am! Matthew was just standing there- no problem or anything, just awake! Zack put him back to bed, but it wasn't long before we heard noises and then our light was BACK ON! Come on Matthew- don't you know we need our sleep?! I didn't realize the extent of his activites until I got up this morning. There were signs of Matthew everywhere! There were pairs of his underwear out, and diapers strewn about, and he had re-organized his closet. Also, Noah's toothbrush was missing, and, while we found Noah's toothbrush, Matthew's is still missing! So, I'm expecting a nice LONG nap from Mr. Matthew today! Of course, then he'll be up all night......!

To post or not to post...

2009-02-08T08:10:00.001-08:00

I'm almost too ashamed to post this one, but then, it IS Matthew we're talking about, and that IS the point of this blog... So, here goes...
Matthew's latest happened yesterday as we were getting ready to leave for church- one of the kids came running in to tell us that Matthew had decided to not only pee on the floor of the garage, but also poop a big pile right there for all to see! And yep, we had neighborhood kids over and EVERYONE got to see Matthew's nastiness! Honestly, I think they're about as used to him by now as we are:) Needless to say, Zack got it cleaned up, and even though Josh thought I should take a picture for my post, I decided to spare everyone who was fortunate enough not to witness the incident in person...you're welcome!

Charmin time...

2009-02-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

This is how it went...

Me: Matthew, who made this mess?

Matthew: Tigger (the dog).

Me: Really?

Matthew: Yes.

Me: Well, who gave Tigger the toilet paper?

Matthew: Me.

Then he very kindly cleaned up Tigger's mess.

I've got to hand it to him, he's a very honest kid! I'm going to be in trouble when he figures out how to lie:)

latest trick...

2009-02-04T12:31:00.000-08:00

ok, so now he's doing what all good, red-blooded almost-3yr-olds do..... he's learned the art of dressing and undressing, but seems to favor the "un" part! So, today, he has disrobed at least 3 times that I know of, and it's only 2:00! The worst part is, he insists on taking off articles of Jacob's clothing as well... socks, pants, diapers!!! Yes, that was today's stunt- removing Jacob's diaper as Jacob was trying to climb up the stairs. Fortunately for me, it wasn't loaded:) Like I always say- can't take your eyes off him for a second! And I will add to that- I only have myself to blame if I do!!!!

broken...

2009-02-02T07:29:00.001-08:00

Well, it doesn't look like much in this picture, but this is the remainder of the long flourescent light bulb that Matthew smashed to smithereens (never wrote that word before- no clue how to spell!) all over the garage floor! Zack had to change two of the lightbulbs in our pantry lighting, and they are really long bulbs. Anyway, he set them beside the trash can outside, not wanting them to shatter all over the garbage- that was his first mistake. His second mistake was letting Matthew outside! Of course he found the cool "light sabers" and, before we knew it, one of them was a huge pile of glass all over the floor! NEVER let your guard down!

More moments...

2009-01-28T11:12:00.000-08:00

My mom took me to lunch yesterday, and Matthew was kind enough to drop his crayon right into my diet coke- the one the waitress had just set down. Oh, and apparently he thinks I can't see him eating the pudding I said he couldn't have if he's under the table!

YUUUUUUUUUK and NASTY......

2009-01-22T19:01:00.000-08:00

This one takes the cake, and I wish it HAD been cake! Sophie came in today after being outside with Matthew and decided that I needed to hear his latest stunt. I told her I DID NOT want to know, but she insisted on telling me anyway (that's Sophie for ya)! The two of them had been outside on the trampoline (it got up to 65 degrees today!), and Matthew decided to pick up and eat the bird poop that was on the trampoline- apparently it looked like candy to him!?! And then, to make matters worse, and as 2 of his sisters watched silently (I'm still trying to get over that part), he got down on his hands and knees and began to LICK up the remainder of the poop, and then he barked as if he were a dog. Once again, I just have nothing to say- my 2yr.old was put on this earth to render me speechless!!!!!

Matthew's mess...

2009-01-19T16:35:00.000-08:00

He was out of my sight for 2 minutes- I swear!!!!!!! And that's 18 eggs that I literally just bought a few hours ago:)

Gross!

2009-01-18T09:56:00.001-08:00

Not only is he eating the snow but he's eating his snot as well- yuck! And here's a quick story while we're at it- we were eating lunch out yesterday at Jason's Deli, and Matthew disappeared for a minute. Zack went to look for him and then all of a sudden he pops out near the bathroom entrance with his pants down around his ankles- fortunately, he had managed to pull up his underwear! That's Matthew for ya- if he needs to go to the bathroom, he just goes! Very independent:)

Showdown at high noon (or around 2:30)!

2009-01-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

Setting: the living room
Cast: Matthew, me, Jacob, Tigger(the dog)
Time: Jacob's nap time!
Me-sitting on the couch nursing the baby to sleep
Enter Matthew into the living room with his truck (the noisiest truck on planet earth that EVERYONE hates and that makes the dog bark relentlessly)
Me- Matthew, please don't turn that truck on. I'm trying to get the baby to sleep.
Matthew- looks me in the eye and pushes the button
Tigger- starts barking like he's on fire
Me- Matthew, turn it off!
Matthew- throws it across the room.
It finally shuts off and the dog stops barking
Jacob is still nursing happily
whew!
Matthew disappears and then re-enters the room with a drum
Me- Matthew, please don't play with that one right now. Can you get a book to read?
Matthew- looks right at me again, grins, bangs on the drum
Tigger- starts barking again
Matthew- starts yelling "no barking" at the dog
Me- Matthew stop!
Matthew throws the drum- big surprise
Matthew leaves the room and comes back with his "Popper"(the one that you push and all the balls pop inside and is really LOUD)
Me- Matthew do NOT push that in here!
Matthew picks it up over his head, laughs and throws it at me
Jacob- believe it or not, is now sleeping
Me- Matthew, you are in so much trouble! You need to be quiet when Jacob's trying to sleep.
Matthew- I'm going to put tape on yours mouth mom
Me- no you're not
Matthew leaves the room, goes into the office
Me- I get up and put Jacob in his swing and begin to clean up. When I turn around I see Matthew with tape strewn across the floor- lots of tape!
Matthew- I'm putting tape on yours mouth
Me- I'm putting tape on your mouth!!
Want to see who won...

and the miserable truck is pictured above- don't EVER buy one!!

Pieces of our day...

2009-01-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

Today Matthew...
-busted himself for the sharpie on the chair- he took me over and showed it to me again and I asked him who did it and he said "me did it!"
-decided that he needed a bandaid because Noah hit him:)
-had a party with the toothpaste, as you can see!

I knew it was coming...

2009-01-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

Truly I knew it! And yesterday it finally happened! No, Matthew didn't break any bones- to date, we still have had no broken bones (I don't count toes) with any of our 7 children! Anyway, I have to say I was not surprised when Matthew lead me into the formal living room yesterday and over to my favorite chair. My eyes followed his fat little finger and there it was- a big pink streak of sharpie on my chair!!! Now, I'm not exactly sure if it was Matthew who did the deed or if he passed off the sharpie to Jacob and he took care of it, but regardless, I know who GOT the sharpie in the first place:) The funny thing is, I honestly don't know how long it would have taken me to notice it had Matthew not pointed it out!!

Hangin' out...

2009-01-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

This is Matthew's favorite place to "hang out!" This time he has climbed up the outside of the staircase, but he also likes to go over the railing at the top of the stairs and hang out over the VERY top- I didn't get a picture of that one. Notice him sticking his tongue out at me. I debated on whether I should even take these pics because I don't want him to think we like it, but I really want a record of it! Also, I have to mention that he likes to spit from up there to the floor below- can't imagine where he learned that!

Missing Matthew!

2009-01-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

Today reality HIT HOME hard!!! Zack & I took all 4 boys to the mall (I hate going to the mall, but it's the only place there's a Kay jewelers, and I had to have my ring warranties checked). Anyway, since we were there, I ran over to Regis and had my hair trimmed while Zack took the boys over to the "play area" with the other 5 million mall babies!! Now, remember how I said I NEVER leave Matthew with anyone anymore (including Zack)? I don't know WHAT I was thinking, but I was only gone for half an hour, and I returned to find Zack frantically running around the outside of the play area- Matthew was MISSING!!! We both spread out, but no sign of Matthew anywhere, and to make matters worse, the escalator was right there, so he could be on either level! I immediately started praying out-loud (I'm sure people thought I was crazy), and I'm sure Zack did too. Zack went to try and find the security station- the mall has a terrible response system for lost kids- no one in the stores knew the number for the mall security! I just didn't know what to do, but I happened to glance back toward the play area and saw a bright red sweatshirt out of the corner of my eye- MATTHEW! I ran over, thinking that Zack had him, but it turned out to be some stranger carrying him. I was yelling "he's mine," and Matthew was sobbing. I thanked the man that had him- a nice man with his wife and a child of their own- they were so kind- not judgemental at all. They explained to me that they found him on the upper level (I KNEW he would go up there!) all the way at the far end. He was in his socks (Zack had taken off his shoes in the play area), and he was trying hard to catch his breath- I'm really happy he was so upset and he realized he was missing us. I still do not understand how a 2yr-old child was able to get on an escalator with bare feet and wander so far away with NO ONE stopping him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What has this world come to?????????? I'm VERY upset about that one!!!!!!! Anyway, thanks to the angels God has sent to help us raise this child, Matthew is back home, safe and sound tonight. I realize I can't watch him every second of the day and am thankful to God for HIS help- I just can't do it alone!

roll down the window please...

2009-01-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

Zack just told me a funny story. When he left Pfizer a few months ago, we lost our company car, so we had to go buy a car for Zack to drive to work. Well, Zack wanted to buy a "beater," but I insisted on something newer so we would still have a warranty and a reliable car! He finally agreed, but insisted on getting the car with the least bells and whistles he could find. So we ended up with a great little car that has roll down windows- bet ya didn't know they even made those anymore! Where does Matthew come in? Well, Zack had the misfortune of having to drive Matthew in his car the other day because I had had enough and didn't want him in my car! Anyway, those darn roll down windows- Matthew figured out how to roll one down out on the highway in the 15degree weather and, needless to say, Zack had to pull over to roll it up!! HEEE HEEEE!!!

Something good...

2009-01-09T13:20:00.000-08:00

As much as I complain about all of Matthew's mischief, he does have some VERY redeeming qualities! First of all, the kid is bright beyond belief. He potty-trained himself in 2wks (that includes nighttime), and although he did backstep a little on the #2, he's worked really hard to get that down, and now we're done:) All this, and he won't be 3 until March! That's pretty impressive for a boy! As I write this, I hear him downstairs saying "you stupid" to each of the kids as they walk in the door from school!!! And he also did EVERYTHING humanly possible to wake up Jacob from his nap this afternoon, to include throwing a pillow at him, stealing his pacifier, and throwing water on him... so, it's a good thing he does have those redeeming moments!

The car...

2009-01-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

So far today, Matthew hasn't pulled anything too terrible (besides unbuckling his car seat when we were taking the boys to school that is- oh,and he did just launch a car at Jacob's head a second ago), so I'm going to pull a story from the vault- there are so many to choose from! This happened last week: Matthew loves to play in his sisters' rooms- no, he's not supposed to be in them, but it's very hard to keep him out. We did finally put a baby gate on Emily's room because she has a 10gal. fish tank, and one of Matthew's favorite activities is throwing things into the fish tank- clocks, entire bottles of fish food, pens- basically anything within reach! Anyway, this story involves Allie's room and some cute little VW Bug cars that she had saved off the top of her birthday cakes (it's her favorite type of car). Matthew loves these cars and has destroyed them little by little, and now they are all gone! We were at Cracker Barrel shortly before Christmas, and while we were waiting for our table the kids were playing with some of the toys. Matthew found this really cute VW Bug that was almost identical to the ones he had destroyed, just a little bigger. I immediately knew we had to get it for Allie's stocking. Anyway, Allie loved it and put it in her room- needless to say, it didn't even survive the first week. Sort of reminds me of the movie "Toy Story" and the little boy "Sid!!" It ended up that the toilet got plugged, and Zack did his BEST to plunge it, but it was stuck. Zack kept saying that there must be something in there besides just the roll of toilet paper we already knew Matthew had put in it and Zack had already retrieved. We asked Matthew repeatedly what he put in the toilet, and he just kept talking about the toilet paper. Zack ended up going to Home Depot and getting a snake,and finally was able to get the toilet unplugged! I'm sure by now you know that it was Allie's brand new car that he pulled out- we still can't believe it fit! He tried to give it back to Allie, even though it was rather mangled and torn apart, but for some reason:) she just didn't want it!!! Matthew just ran up and hit me and then gave me his standard "I love you mom!" Now he's beating up Jacob- must be time to go!!!
P.S. he's in "time-out" now and he "hates me!"

"I Love You..."

2009-01-06T11:13:00.000-08:00

Matthew's new favorite phrase!!! He has learned to use it immediately after he does something bad. He steals Jacob's pacifier- "I love you" and then a cheesy grin. He squirts water all over the floor- "I got your floor wet- I love you!" He lets the dog out of his cage- "I let Tigger out- I love you!" It's hysterical to me that he likes to TELL me the bad thing that he just did- I just don't get the psychology behind that one! And I don't know why he thinks throwing in an "I love you" will change anything, because, believe me, he still gets punished! I am one of those moms that follows the "spare-the-rod, spoil-the-child" philosophy. He also likes to tell me when he's on his way to do something bad, which is FABULOUS because I can usually convince him he better re-think his plan! Really, you have to be master of everything when you're a mom- especially 2yr-old psychology!!!

Oops???

2009-01-05T14:28:00.000-08:00

Here's a quick one from last week: Zack & I were in our room and Matthew was right in front of us in the hallway in front of our room- the next thing we know, he unzips his pants and pees on the wall! There's nothing left to say.....

Here we go...

2009-01-05T12:07:00.000-08:00

I just got the blog set up and already have 2 new stories to post! The first is from this morning: I took Matthew's clothes off to put him in the shower with me (remember he goes EVERYWHERE I go!), and when I went to brush my teeth, Matthew disappeared! By the time I found him downstairs in the office, he had a handful of permanent markers in one hand and a lovely blue penis- sorry if that's too blunt, but that's Matthew for you. And I know that mothers of boys will understand!!!
The second incident of the day happened when Matthew and Jacob were playing with pots and spoons- the next thing I know, a large wooden spoon is flying through the air at our newest big-screen t.v.(you know, the one you probably shouldn't have bought with 7 kids in the house!)! No damage, but I'm sure everyone is now wondering why we own permanent markers or nice t.v.s!!!